Bad news sucks

So this morning I'm filled with sadness, a bit of anger, and still a sense of purpose. A few weeks ago I got what was, in my little world, a devastating result for Gwenn's neuropsych testing: permanent brain damage. But today everything is moved into perspective quickly with the results that one of my best friends, Lorna, received on the health of her daughter, Penelope.

Penny was also adopted from China, and since coming to the US has had numerous issues with her health - starting with a funny limp when she came home at two. At first there were unusual ideas of what occured - polio in China (confirmed), in uetero stroke (not), hemiplegia (nope) and many others. But in the last year a new diagnosis was floated around: mitochondrial disease.

I didn't know much about mito when Lorna first told me about it, but what I learned let me know that it was no good. Well, today Lorna got the news that she was expecting, but still not ready for - that Penelope has a very serious form of the disease. Actually, of all the scenarios, it was the worst case.

So I've been wondering - between this news and what I had heard about Gwenn - why these kiddos are so often ill, and is it worth it. It hasn't taken long to answer the last questions, hell yes, it's worth it. There are so many kids who need homes, and all are worth it. I'm not sure if I'm going to make a difference, but for one child, it is an impact and a life-changing event.

I don't think it's because the Chinese, or any other country, treat their kids in institutions badly. I think it's just that kids don't belong in institutions. They don't get the touch and attention that they so badly need in order to thrive, not just survive. So often these kids come, and their brains haven't developed. They can't form attachments correctly, since they were never held. They may have medical issues that led to their being abandoned, or simply were abandoned due to the one child policy, pressure for a girl or a "perfect" child. The one thing I've learned in life is that there is no perfect child, no perfect adult - and it's our differences and faults that make us what we are.

I'm sure I'll write more later, but I still need to digest this latest news.