Helping

Today was one of those days where you just find the time to help a friend. Good friends are waiting for their referral for their child from China - they DTC'd (Dossier to China for the non-china adoption folks) way back in June 2006. At this point they have been told to anticipate a referral at least a year from now - which is 2-2.5 years after paperwork submitted in order to get a referral. So - like many others - they are considering moving to a waiting child from China to expedite the process. Since they are paperwork ready they could be in China in about 6 months if it all goes smoothly.

However, one of my favorite agencies just hasn't made it easy for them - or for others in fact. They allow multiple families to review the file of a child at one time, and then if they are all interested, they get to "bid" on which family is best for the child. It actually is the reason that I moved from that favorite agency for my latest adoption. I realize that they are doing their best to find the best family for a child - but they are forgetting that the parents are their client, and the ones responsible for paying the bill!

It's such a tricky thing - navigating the adoption process - especially as a first time adopter. And so often these agencies who think they are doing the right thing are really making it much more difficult. Don't pass judgements on families who you have already approved for adoption. Don't make the road to adoption so hard - you'll put yourselves out of business. Find the balance.

So - for J & S - hang in there. Your child will come, and he or she will be the perfect one for you! It's amazing how many deadends I headed down before finding Miss Lucy. It doesn't seem to make sense, but in the end it really does.